"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." - Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State) |
"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." - Dan Rather (News anchorman) |
"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, ’Thyroid problem?' " - Arnold Schwarzenegger (Movie Actor) |
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." - Tiger Woods (Golfer) |
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." - Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends") |
"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves." - Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead) |
"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." - Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses) |
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." - Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner 1996) |
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon - master." - Rev. Jesse Jackson (Pres Clinton's spiritual adviser) |
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Jack Nicholson (Movie Actor) |
"Nothing is achieved in Politics without passion." - Gladstone (19th Century British Prime Minister) |
"Women should be obsene and not heard." - John Lennon (Beatle) |