HORSEBURGERS |
In January 2013 a “scandal” erupted in Ireland and the UK when Irish forensic experts detected horse DNA in beefburgers on the shelves of supermarkets Tesco, Dunnes, Iceland, Aldi, Lidl and others. They also found pig meat.
There was no threat to health; the issue was purely one of labelling. Moreover, as some pointed out, horsemeat is usually healthier than cowmeat - it is free-range, leaner, and since horses are not bred and fed for food, their flesh contains fewer growth hormones and other pharmaceuticals.
Nobody got excited at the idea that apparently the supermarkets have long been feeding pork to their devout customers of a Muslim or Jewish persuasion. However the idea of eating beautiful horses - ugh! - that depravity should remain strictly confined to the perverts on the Continent.
Nevertheless, it spawned a flood of puerile jokes. Here are some of them.
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Queasy customers flipped at the news that their burgers contained horse. |
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Sometimes I feel like I'm just chevalling horsewit. |
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I asked my local fishmonger if he had any seahorse. He said, “No, it ran out yesterday”. |
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Next door at the butcher's, the popular filly steaks were jumping off the shelves. |
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I've eaten one too many of those equine burgers I reckon I can't take another - I am horse de combat |
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My psychiatrist said I'm mad 'cos I think these equine burgers make it hard for me to speak and to breathe. Does that make me a horse chest nut? |
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To maintain a healthy diet one must overcome many hurdles. |
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You can't just horse around with any old fodder you fancy. Favourites of mine are beef or salmon. |
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You're just trying to stirrup trouble. |
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I've long maintained that burgers are an essential part of a stable diet - although it should be noted that while they are low in fat, some of them are surprisingly high in Shergar. |
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This whole thing has just been a night-mare for all involved. |
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We'll be saddled with unwanted burgers now. |
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Tesco will be hoping these puns don't last furlong. |
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What do you put on a burger? Ten €uros each way. |
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Just checked the burgers in my fridge ... AND THEY'RE OFF!!! |
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I expect this Tesco burger thing only relates to those mini-burgers you have as snacks. You know, the horse d'oeuvres. |
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I was shouting about
how tasty Tesco burgers are and now I'm feeling a little horse. |
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Those Aldi horseburgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony |
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Has the horror of galloping consumption returned? |
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My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so I went out and bought tickets for the Grand National. |
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Has anyone tested veggie burgers for uniquorn yet? |
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A driver gets pulled over by a guard who tells him he’s over the limit. “But I only had a burger,” said the driver. “That explains it,” says the guard. “I knew I could smell Red Rum.” |
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Are you in favour of horsemeat in your burgers? Yay or Neigh? |
Findus would like to thank Frances Allwright for this
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But this trend is a
lot more worrying |
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Now
click on this button |
Thanks to various contributors, mainly on Facebook
