HOW TO WRITE GOOD

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:
 

  1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

  3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)

  4. Employ the vernacular.

  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 

  8. Contractions aren't necessary.

  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

  10. One should never generalise.

  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

  12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

  13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it’s highly  superfluous.

  14. Profanity sucks.

  15. Be more or less specific.

  16. Understatement is always best.

  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

  18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 

  20. The passive voice is to be avoided

  21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

  22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed

  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

bullet

Caveat emptor.

bullet

Carpe diem.

bullet

Et tu, brute.

 

Now click on this button 
wpe5.jpg (919 bytes)

Thanks Frank L Visco

PREVSpic.gif (1167 bytes)                           NEXTpic.gif (1087 bytes)              

Back to Light Relief                                                                                        Hit Counter