LEXIPHILES

 

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.


 

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.


 

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.


 

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.


 

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.


 

The batteries were given out free of charge.


 

A dentist and a manicurist married.

They fought tooth and nail.


 

A will is a dead giveaway.


 

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.


 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


 

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


 

A boiled egg is hard to beat.


 

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


 

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.


 

Hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.


 

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.


 

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.


 

In a democracy it's your vote that counts;

in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.


 

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


 

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.


 

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


 

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.


 

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

 
 

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