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You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke
at the dinner table in front of her kids.
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The value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas is in it.
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You’ve been married three times and still
have the same in-laws.
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You think a woman who is out of your
league bowls on a different night.
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You wonder how service stations keep
their restrooms so clean.
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You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
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Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a
ceiling fan.
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Your junior prom offered day care.
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You lit a match in the bathroom and your
house exploded right off its wheels..
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The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has
more teeth than your spouse.
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One of your kids was born on a pool
table.
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You need one more hole punched in your
card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You can’t get married to your sweetheart
because there’s a law against it.
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You think loading the dishwasher means
getting your wife drunk.