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The roundest
knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his
size from too much pi. |
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I thought I saw an
eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical
Aleutian . |
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She was only a
whiskey maker, but he loved her still. |
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A rubber band
pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of
math disruption. |
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The butcher backed
into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. |
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No matter how much
you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. |
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A dog gave birth
to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. |
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A grenade thrown
into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. |
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Two silk worms had
a race. They ended up in a tie. |
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Time flies like an
arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. |
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A hole has been
found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. |
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Atheism is a
non-prophet organization. |
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Two hats were
hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other,
“You stay
here; I'll go on a head”. |
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I wondered why the
baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. |
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A sign on the lawn
at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.' |
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A small boy
swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother
telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.' |
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A chicken crossing
the road is poultry in motion. |
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Two ducks were crossing the road in Belfast.
One looked back at the other and said
“Quack, quack”. The other said “Ah cain't goo any
quacker”. |
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It's not that the
man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. |
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The short
fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. |
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The man who
survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. |
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A backward poet
writes inverse. |
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In democracy it's
your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. |
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When cannibals ate
a missionary, they got a taste of religion. |
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Don't join
dangerous cults: Practice safe sects! |