SIGNS OF THE TIMES
Veterinarian's office sign	"All unattended children will be given a free kitten"
Lot outside Vet's office	"Parking for customers only, others will be neutered."
In a Veterinarians waiting room	"Be back in 5 minutes, SIT !  STAY !"
Plumber's Shop	"We repair what your husband fixed."
Pizza shop slogan	"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee	"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office	"Hello, we can help pick your nose?"
Sign at the psychic's Hotline	"Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a towing company	"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Billboard on the side of the road	"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
On an electrician's truck	"Let us remove your shorts."
In a nonsmoking area	"If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On maternity room door	"Push, Push, Push."
At an Ophthalmologist's Office	"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window	"We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office	"Time wounds all heels."
On a fence	"Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."
Outside a muffler shop	"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."
Inside a bowling alley	"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a funeral home	"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counsellor's office	"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."

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