ALCOHOL IS BAD FOR YOU |
Due to
increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately |
| 1 | WARNING : | The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your underwear. |
| 2 | WARNING : | The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. |
| 3 | WARNING : | The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. |
| 4 | WARNING : | The
consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. |
| 5 | WARNING : | The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. |
| 6 | WARNING : | The
consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. |
| 7 | WARNING : | The
consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. |
| 8 | WARNING : | The
consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your backside kicked. |
| 9 | WARNING : | The
consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. |
| 10 | WARNING : | The
consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. |
| 11 | WARNING : | The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. |
| 12 | WARNING : | The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. |
| 13 | WARNING : | The
consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. |
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