Big companies don't
do business via chain letters and there are no computer programs that track how many times
an e-mail is forwarded, let alone by whom. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney
is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class action
checks.
Proctor and Gamble is
not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not satanic.
MTV will not give you
backstage passes if you forward something to the most people.
The Gap is not giving
away free clothes. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's
true."
There is no kidney
theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend
of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell bent on believing the
kidney theft stories, see : http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
. And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for
actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories." None have.
That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.
Neiman Marcus doesn't
really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you
don't, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
. Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the
recipe on.
If the latest NASA
rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern
seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain
letter?
There is no
"Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any e-mail
containing any virus warning unless you first confirm that an actual site of an actual
company that actually deals with viruses. Try: http://www.norton.com
or http://www.mcafee.com . And even then, don't
forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or e-mail, you
have to download it .... ya know, like, a FILE !
There is no gang
initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes headlights at another car driving at
night without lights.
If you're using
Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write e-mail, turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of
us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then
view it with a web browser since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus
Cookie Recipe anyway.
If you still
absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the
decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over
the last 6 months. (Think Cut and Paste). It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the
">"s and spaces that begin each line either, together with the so-called
"manual line breaks". Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've
probably already seen it. To get rid of all that surplus punctuation, simply copy the
message into Word, then use Edit-Replace (or Control-H), and when
you’ve finished copy it back into your e-mail. (You must REALLY think the message is
worth forwarding to go through all that palaver !)
Craig Shergold (or
Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this
time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is no
longer a "little boy" either.
The "Make a
Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to
establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes
using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they
do. Also, the American Cancer Society does not give 3 cents for each person you forward
e-mail to. They ask for you to donate money, they don't give it, as if they could know how
many e-mails you sent out ... sheesh.
If you are one of
those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that "promises" something bad
will happen if you "don't," - then something bad will happen to you if I ever
meet you in a dark alley.
Women really are
suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail won't help their cause in the least. If
you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with
Amnesty International or the Red Cross.
As a general rule,
e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power
to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.
KFC really does use
real Chickens with feathers and beaks and feet. No, they really do. Why did they change
their name? In this health conscious world, what was KFC's name ? Kentucky FRIED Chicken.
FRIED is not healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC.
It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember. (Personally, I still think
"Kentucky Fried Chicken" is easier.)
Another thing, just
because someone said in a message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and
it's legit," does not actually make it true.
There is no bill
pending before Congress that will allow long distance companies to charge you for using
the Internet.
Bottom Line ...
composing an e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of
a public rest room. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false ... ASSUME it's
false, unless there is proof that it's true. Bookmark the following links to help discern
truth or hoax: http://www.truthorfiction.com http://vil.nai.com/VIL/hoaxes.asp .
