| Your last name stays put. |
| The garage is all yours. |
| You don't have to shave below your neck. |
| Wedding plans take care of themselves. |
| Chocolate is just another snack. |
| You can be president (of where you're born). |
| You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. |
| Car mechanics tell you the truth. |
| You don't give a rat's ass if someone doesn't notice your new haircut. |
| You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky looking. |
| Same work ... more pay. |
| Wrinkles add character. |
| You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. |
| Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100. |
| People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. |
| The occasional well-rendered belch (from either end) is practically expected. |
| New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. |
| Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. |
| You know stuff about tanks. |
| A five-day vacation requires only one small wheely-bag. |
| You can open all your own jars. |
| You can leave the motel bed unmade. |
| You can kill your own food. |
| You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. |
| Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack. |
| If you are 34 and single, nobody notices or cares. |
| Everything on your face stays its original color. |
| You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. |
| Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. |
| You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming. |
| You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without anyone thinking, "He must be mad at me." |
| You don't mooch off other's desserts. |
| You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. |
| You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. |
| You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. |
| Your powerful belly usually hides your big hips. |
| One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. |
| You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife or your teeth. |
| You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. |
| Christmas shopping can be
accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
|
On the other hand ... (there are four fingers and a thumb)
...| How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes ? | Both of them. | ||||||||
| Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking ? | They all already have boyfriends. | ||||||||
| How does a man show that he is planning for the future ? |
He buys two cases of beer. | ||||||||
| What is the difference between men and government bonds ? | The bonds mature. | ||||||||
| Why are blonde jokes so short ? | So men can remember them. | ||||||||
| How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper ? |
No-one knows; it has never happened. | ||||||||
| When does a sensible woman care for a man's company ? |
When he owns it. | ||||||||
| What are a woman's four favourite animals ? |
|
||||||||
| Why are married women heavier than single women ? |
|
||||||||
| How do you get a man to do sit-ups ? | Put the remote control between his toes | ||||||||
| What is the one thing that all men in singles bars have in common ? |
They're married. | ||||||||
| What did God say after creating man ? | "I must be able to do better than that." | ||||||||
| What did God say after creating Eve ? | "Practice makes perfect." |
Man says to God: "God,
why did you make woman so beautiful ?" |
Want a perfect man ? Click here 
|
Final quote to ponder - Erica Jong, poet, novelist, essayist and feminist,
|
Thanks Eileen K
