-
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.
-
I
thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian .
-
She
was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
-
A
rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
-
The
butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
-
No
matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
-
A
dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
-
A
grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
-
Two
silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
-
Time
flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-
A
hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into
it.
-
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
-
Two
hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, “You stay here; I'll go on a head”.
-
I
wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
-
A
sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: “Keep off the Grass”.
-
A
small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change
yet”.
-
A
chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
-
The
short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
-
The
man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
-
A
backward poet writes inverse.
-
In
democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that
votes.
-
When
cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
