LUCKY FOR SOME 

Something different in pole position this week – and well deserved, too. Steve Fossett’s catamaran Cheyenne with its 13 crew crossed the finish line last evening to take the official record for a sailing circumnavigation, but they didn’t just sneak inside Peyron’s 64-day mark – they blitzed it by almost 10% with a time of 58 days. I recall writing last year of the diminishing margins by which this record was likely to be broken, but it seems that there were still some aces to be played, as Fossett suffered several days’ delay through rig failure. So if it’s normally ‘hats off’ to signify congratulations, this feat merits stripping! There is another boat in the Pacific at the moment, in the middle of its own record attempt, and not too far behind Fossett’s pace, but for the foreseeable future the record is (unusually) not in the hands of the French, and what’s more 6 of Fossett’s crew were Brits

The bunching up of the Super 12 table happened with a vengeance last weekend. Brumbies got thumped by Crusaders but remain 5 points clear, thanks to having played one game more than most of the following teams. However that group contains no less than 8 teams within a 3-point bracket, and the revitalised Blues could join that bracket with their game in hand, so it looks as if any of 10 teams could realistically get the semi berths. Just a tad more unpredictable than Formula 1, eh

One other interesting snippet of rugby news is that 511 drug tests were conducted at the world cup – all negative. Makes a change to hear of a sport like that, doesn’t it?

So how did Bahrain stack up then? Pretty well by all accounts. Everything worked (except the McLaren cars!), lots of praise for the organisation and the facilities, and the sand didn’t cause the mayhem that the gloom-and-doom merchants were predicting. Pity then that the Ferraris had to go and spoil it all by proving yet again how superior their whole set-up is. (No doubt even the guys holding the refuelling hose have special diets and psychological counselling.) Behind them there was actually a bit of racing, with Ralf providing a large slice of the action, both on and off the track. Not content with twice bashing into fellow competitors (to his own detriment as it happened) he then mowed down 2 of his own pit crew! Biggest winner was Jenson Button who got his second consecutive podium finish in the BAR. The ceremony itself had two unusual characteristics, both a product of the local influence. Firstly, champagne was of course out of the question, but they had brewed up some special ‘fizzy fruit drink’ to allow the drivers to play at being kids again (although I think they need a bit more carbon dioxide next year). And the trophies themselves were reported to be replicas of the futuristic-looking race control tower. To me, they looked for all the world like oversized waste paper baskets.

England’s cricketer’s did it again. I went to bed with the Windies second innings marooned due to rain stopping play. Next morning I checked to see if they had managed to get any more play on the second day, only to find that England had skittled them out for under a hundred, and knocked off the winning runs in quick time to record a series-winning victory inside 3 days. Vaughan is probably wise to be cautioning against optimistic talk of getting the Ashes back, particularly in view of the desperately weak Windies performance, but it’s certainly good for the confidence of the team.

India made the most of a high scoring first Test match against Pakistan, so let’s guess who’s going to win the second Test.

Zimbabwe and Heath Steak have parted company, although there are differing statements on whether the captain’s ‘resignation’ was voluntary or forced. I’m sure his successor will be a politically correct appointment, and that may be touted as part of a long-term strategy to secure the future, but it’s difficult to see Zimbabwe making that step up to real Test status just yet. 

Bob suggested it might not be appropriate to gloat over another inept Scottish football showing, as England also succumbed on the same night, so that’s that.

Miguel Angel Jimenez kept his pony-tailed head to claim the Portuguese Open on the Algarve, but the abiding memory of the event will be the excruciatingly slow pace of play. When a 3-ball takes more than 5 hours for a round, it’s beyond belief that no penalty has been handed out. What chance is there of amateur groups satisfying the club committee’s timing targets when the pros get away with it?

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

On day 2 of the Portuguese Open the ever-striking Jarmo Sandelin appeared in a garish pair of ‘Rupert Bear’ yellow trews, which elicited the comment;

“There’s Jarmo. It should be a catwalk but it’s the 8^th tee.”

Ian Woosnam’s simple but effective golf swing was described as;

“Two turns and the ball just gets in the way.”

Williams team director Patrick Head gave a succinct opinion on Ralf’s escapades;

“A bloody mess.”

Meanwhile a similarly disappointed McLaren boss Ron Dennis left us in no doubt as to where his drivers went wrong;

"Both Kimi and David could have finished in the points today but to do that you have to finish."

As mentioned earlier, Ferrari have it all going for them. Best car, best driver, most money, best back-up team, etc., but the Red Baron has let slip a hint that they’re not even satisfied with all these advantages;

“Just before the race I noticed that I didn't have Corinna's amulet with me and I had left it in my hotel. Someone dashed over there to get it for me and brought it back. That was perhaps the decisive difference today.”

ITV’s James Allen will be first in the queue for the assignment of commentary positions for next year’s Bahrain GP;

“It’s the only place I’ve been where the Minister of Sport came to ask if there was anything else I wanted.”

But he subsequently did his case no good with the following comment, which encapsulated what we all thought, but overstepped into the realms of fantasy;

"This was a really fantastic race and if the Ferraris hadn't been in it, it would have been a classic."

Man U (having given Wenger the excuse he needed to start whingeing about fixture congestion and player burnout) now find themselves in the FA Cup final against the lesser lights of Millwall, whose chairman Theo Paphitis revealed his holiday plans for the team;

“I promised the players we would go into Europe this summer if we qualified for the UEFA Cup, as a sort of warm-up. What they didn't know is that we'll be going to Eurodisney!”

The thrilling Grand National result gave ample scope for the racing commentators to indulge in a bout of cliché babbling, and it provided the evidence that they really do talk a load of horse manure.

Comment 1: “This is the horse that Ginger McCain always thought might win him another Grand National.”

Comment 2:             “ Ginger McCain never thought he’d win another Grand National.”

Is that what you call an each-way bet?  

ON THE BOX  
(All live on Supersport; Abu Dhabi timings; GMT +4)

Rugby             Super 12

Friday              11:15            Blues – Bulls

                        13:35            Brumbies – Highlanders

Saturday            13:20            Reds – Stormers

                        16:45            Sharks – Crusaders     

                        19:00            Cats – Chiefs

Rugby             Heineken Cup QFs

Friday              22:30            Llanelli – Biarritz

Saturday            17:45            Toulouse – Edinburgh

                        20:00            Munster – Stade Francais

Sunday 17:45            Wasps – Gloucester

Rugby             U-19 World Championships from Durban

Thursday            17:45            Semi-final 1 (France – England)

                        20:00            Semi-final 2 (S. Africa – N. Zealand)

Monday            16:45            3^rd place playoff

                        19:00            Final

Golf     The Masters from Augusta

Thursday            24:00

Friday              23:00

Saturday            23:00

Sunday 22:00

Football            Champions League QF 2^nd leg

Tuesday (6^th)            22:15            Monaco – Real Madrid

Wednesday            22:15            Lyon – FC Porto

Football            English Premiership

Friday              15:00            Arsenal – Liverpool

                        22:30            Everton – Spurs

Saturday            17:30            Chelsea – Boro

                        18:45            Birmingham – Man U

Sunday 18:30            Newcastle – Arsenal

Monday            17:30            Villa – Chelsea

                        23:00            Fulham – Blackburn

Tuesday (13^th)            23:00            Man U – Leicester

Cricket            Pakistan – India 2^nd Test

Continues Tuesday (6^th) to Friday daily from 08:30 to 16:30

Cricket            Pakistan – India 3^rd Test

From Tuesday (13^th) daily from 08:30 to 16:30

Cricket            Windies – England 4^th Test

Saturday to Wednesday daily from 17:30 to 01:30

Tennis             Davis Cup S. Africa – Slovakia

Friday              11:45 – 17:00

Saturday            13:30 – 16:30

Sunday 11:45 – 17:00