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GRAHAM'S SPORTING WEEK, FROM ABU DHABI |
| Last Week |
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Week O4-04-13 |
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Posh & Becks - 
| Did he, didn't he? | |
Who's to blame? |
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How much is The Sun paying? |
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Who cares? (not me, but I repeatedly hear that they are ‘the most famous couple in the world’, so I guess someone must!) |
NO MORE MONKEY
BUSINESS
I have it on good authority (Lynda did stay up until 2 a.m. for the finish!) that the final round of the Masters was well worth watching. I guess quite a lot of us felt that Mickelson would fold, as he has done before, but this time he nailed it, and he can justifiably claim that he won rather than the others losing. So the monkey is finally off his back, and maybe we can now expect another realistic challenger to Tiger’s position.
Someone who will not only be failing to mount a challenge next year, but has in fact been unable to do so for decades is Arnold Palmer. He obviously felt that it was his ‘duty’ to keep turning out in the Masters to please his fans, but there has been an ever-growing body of opinion that someone should tell him (impolitely if necessary) that it’s time to go. Sure he had a great Masters record, but the last time he actually won was as long ago as 1964, and he hasn’t made the cut in the last 20 years! Now he seems to have bowed to the inevitable. What on earth was the point of him trundling round in 80+ strokes each year, when he could have fulfilled his appearance obligations by, for instance, doing the ceremonial ‘drive-off’ from the first tee? In contrast, his peer Jack Nicklaus has almost certainly decided to call it a day, at a much earlier stage, before real decline has set in (he only missed the cut by 2 strokes), and explains his position in terms that will endear him to all;
“Is
there any reason why I should come back? What can I accomplish by
playing?”
The bottom 4 places after round 2 were occupied (in declining order) by Player, Coody, Palmer and Aaron, all former champions long past their sell-by date. If the Masters committee can organise a par-3 competition for the entrants on the day before the real thing starts, how about a separate, former champions round for those who should be embarrassed to go into the event proper? They could even let them use buggies!
Behind Mickelson there were pleasingly high finishes for Els, Choi, Garcia and Langer, with another oldie Fred Couples also starring.
The Brumbies remain atop the Super 12 table (albeit having played one more match than most of the challengers) and it’s still nicely bunched below them. The Queensland Reds went down by a single point to the Stormers and now look to have joined the Cats as the only teams to have lost any serious claim to a semi-final place. The Blues have the biggest climb to make, but if they play like they did last weekend against the Highlanders they could certainly succeed. Spencer was back to his outrageous best, passing, kicking and dummying in a display that was more reminiscent of the Harlem Globetrotters than a rugby team. The Brumbies also notched up a half-century, which although it didn’t quite seem to be in the same league as the Blues, was against the previously impressive Bulls. However, the Stormers and Sharks kept the S. African flag flying (the latter with a surprise win over the Crusaders), and we are virtually assured of a nail-biting finish to the league matches.
The Heineken Cup quarter-finals produced an all-French semi-final line up, with Toulouse and Biarritz both comfortably downing Llanelli and Edinburgh respectively. The other semi will match Munster, who held on against Stade Francais, and Wasps who steamrollered Gloucester (sorry, Craig). Maybe Tony and Gerry can orchestrate an eyewitness account for us (unbiased, of course)?
I have received a couple of e-mails recently with slightly differing versions of a sarcastic ‘report’ about the various alleged levels of terror alert recognised by the French. Of course such claims are scurrilous nonsense. Our cross-channels amis have every bit as much backbone as any of their allies. Why, look what happened just this week at the U-19 World Rugby Championships in Durban. They snuffed out a lacklustre English challenge to gain their place in the final, and celebrated in traditional masculine style – by all bursting into tears!
Anyone who thinks that sport is not a mental challenge need only look at the events in the Caribbean recently. The Windies cricket team succumbed to England in 3 consecutive Test matches, with a series of batting performances that caused anguish and disbelief. Then, as if someone had switched on a light, Lara comes out and whacks a world record breaking 400 runs, an individual total that exceeds the combined first and second innings scores of the entire team in 2 of those previous 3 Tests (and another 18 runs would have eclipsed the remaining mark). Ably supported by centurion Jacobs, he justified Vaughan’s caution over England’s series-winning performance by subjecting the hapless captain to the highest total ever conceded by the national team in a Test. Had Lara found a magic new batting technique in the past week? Did the team collectively and individually make giant strides in the nets? Of course not – it must simply have been a matter of application. A good lesson for all. And any thoughts that the Windies may have profited from an easy wicket rather than any dominance over England were swiftly dispelled as the visitors’ first innings crumbled to 171-5 by the end of the third day’s play.
The desperate situation in Zimbabwean cricket circles assumed farcical proportions this week. (By the way I’m surprised none of you seized the opportunity to rag me for naming the ex-captain Heath STEAK last week!) Anyway, aforementioned Mr. Streak ‘resigned’ after being upbraided for criticising the make-up of the selection panel. Almost inevitably one of the people he cited for lack of relevant experience was black, so that sealed Streak’s fate. At the same time the Zimbabwean board member in charge of racial quotas covered himself in temporary glory with the suspension of 10 white players who had ‘missed’ cup matches, notwithstanding that they had been given permission to do so by the ZCU president (guess what colour he is). We now have threats that up to 14 current Test squad players will quit. Meanwhile, as if in another universe, we have English Cricket Board officials due to meet government ministers, with the smart money on a decision to go ahead with the planned tour later this year (nothing to do with the fact that a refusal could result in a ban and a £1 million fine!). As an unnamed member of the ‘gang of 14’ said;
"It looks an absolute mess, and we can't play under those conditions."
Frenchman Olivier de Kersauson is barrelling northwards towards the Equator off the coast of Brazil in his giant trimaran Geronimo, and is within a fortnight of finishing his circumnavigation record bid. His pace is well ahead of the target he had at the time of his departure in late February, but unfortunately a couple of days behind the new record recently set by Fossett. Must be really galling to have had the goalposts moved whilst you were thousands of miles from anywhere in the Southern Ocean!
For the second year running Sandy Lyle found himself paired with former winners 67 year-old Tommy Aaaron and 66 year-old Charles Coody for the first 2 rounds of the Masters. All credit to him for managing to make the cut under these less-than-ideal circumstances, but also sympathy for his point of view;
“I
am not ready for this. I want to stay competitive. Jack Nicklaus won when
he was 46. That's my age and I am looking forward to maybe doing the same.”
On the second day of Lara’s mammoth innings there was a spell when he was relatively quiet, but still comfortably able to push away the occasional ball and keep the scoreboard ticking over. It was thanks to Ian Botham’s commentary that we learned just how bored Lara had been;
“He’s picking his spots.”
The Gulf News carried a letter to the editor this week, which embodied many of the classic characteristics of such missives from our sub-continental friends. It was complaining about the editor’s stance on Ganguly’s captaincy of the Indian cricket team, and ended with the dire threat;
“So
your negative efforts will again be defeated.”
Sounded like a cross between the Daleks and Python’s Holy Grail.
In a similar vein, our favourite Italian comedian Ranieri has been at it again, this time smugly reacting to Chelsea’s Champions League defeat of Arsenal;
“People have said I am a dead
man walking but I am not - I am still moving. It is difficult to kill me.”
I don’t go much on the Simpsons, and I saw a baseball headline this week that indicates I may not be the only one;
‘Bonds
hits landmark homer.’
If England come up against Mexico in the next football World Cup, they’d better watch out for a sneaky plan that is being hatched by the cunning Latins. We have a pack of ‘wet wipes’ in our kitchen, made in Mexico, with the advice that they can be used for ‘Microwave Owen’.
From ADCO’s weekly circular;
‘Ittihad Airline single return ticket to Thailand. Original price Dhs. 1500/-. Sailing Price Dhs. 1200/-. Validity for 3 months. Please contact Mobile: xxxxxx.’
Presumably the explanation of a ‘single return ticket’ is that it’s one way by air and the other by sea!
Whilst we’re on air travel, Emirates airline are starting a direct service from Dubai to Glasgow, and the advert includes the following information;
‘Monsters, wind-blown castles, men in skirts – no wonder they call Scotland the land of the brave.’
(All live on Supersport; Abu Dhabi timings; GMT +4)
Rugby Super 12
Friday 11:15 Blues - Stormers
13:35 Reds - Bulls
21:00 Sharks - Chiefs
Saturday 13:20 Waratahs - Hurricanes
16:45 Cats - Crusaders
Golf Open de Sevilla from Spain
Thu/Fri 17:00 - 20:00
Sat/Sun 16:00 - 19:00
Golf MCI Heritage Classic from Hilton Head, S.C.
Thu/Fri 24:00
Sat/Sun 23:00
Football English Premiership
Tuesday (13th) 23:00 Man U - Leicester
Friday 22:30 Arsenal - Leeds
Saturday 15:00 Portsmouth - Man U
17:30 Chelsea - Everton
19:00 Liverpool - Fulham
Sunday 16:30 Villa - Newcastle
Motorcycling Superbikes from San Marino
Saturday 17:00 Superpole
Sunday 13:55 Superbike race 1
15:05 Supersport race
17:15 Superbike race 2
Motorcycling MotoGP from Welkom, S. Africa
Sunday 13:00 125cc
14:10 250cc
15:30 MotoGP
Tennis Masters Series from Monte Carlo
Daily from Monday at 12:00 - 20:00
Cricket Windies - England Final Test
Tue/Wed 17:30 - 01:30
Cricket Windies - England ODI #1
Sunday 18:00 - 01:30
Cricket Pakistan - India Final Test
Daily from Wednesday to Saturday at 08:30 - 16:30
Cricket Zimbabwe - Sri Lanka ODI #1
Tuesday (20th) 11:15 - 19:30
Athletics Distance Running
Sunday 11:30 - 15:00 London Marathon
Monday 19:00 - 22:30 Boston Marathon
Graham
